story of my life

I met these three boys through a friend’s boyfriend during my college years.  I had a brief dating stint with one of the boys my freshman year of college.  Or was it my sophomore year?  We dated over winter break, he went back to school and about a week or so later, we realized it wasn’t going to work so we decided to just be friends.  Excuse me, “friends.” Not that long after, I started dating my college boyfriend.  I still hung out with those boys when they were home during breaks (all three of them went to different universities).  Over time, one of the other boys started crushing on me.  I, of course, had no clue.  But all the signs were there – sexting texting back and forth, him calling me on Valentine’s Day one year, us being beer pong partners for every party we went to.  I even remember him being one of the first few people I called when my ex-boyfriend had hit me.  Anyway, it wasn’t until after he started dating other girls when I found out how much he was crushin’ on me.   Now he’s married with a kid (or two).  Story of my life.

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I met this other guy during college through a friend.  It was instant friendship that, over the course of a few years, turned into him falling in love with me (true story).  We hung out nearly every weekend and he became one of my closest guy friends.  When I moved out to Philadelphia, we still remained close.  We even tried to date each other, but the long distance thing just wasn’t working for me.  He came out for New Years a few years ago and that’s when he told me he loved me.  Not, loved me like a friend but was in love with me.  Words every girl is just dying to hear, right?  Unfortunately for me, I just didn’t feel the same towards him.  I loved him as a friend, but I just wasn’t sure if I had any kind of romantic feelings for him.  So we decided to just be friends.  It wasn’t after he had come out to visit me for a housewarming party I threw two years ago, when I realized that I wanted to give it a serious shot at a relationship.  Sure, it wasn’t the ideal scenario, but I really did think we could make it work.  He had started seeing this other girl in Tuscon and said he needed to give her a chance, but that if things didn’t work out, maybe he and I could try something again.  He’s now engaged to the Tuscon girl and they are getting married next August.  Story of my life.

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I met this one guy at a bar randomly.  The connection between us was instant and almost eerie.  He knew me better than I knew myself.  Within months he had become one of my best friends and I went to him for Helen Keller jokes advice, opinions and sarcastic comments.  We fell in love and I really did think he was my soul mate.  Unfortunately for me, he was married and had no intention of leaving the wife.  He had his first baby in May and still married.  Story of my life.

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I know that everything happens for a reason but for the last few years I’m starting to dislike fate.  Or maybe I just have such bad luck with guys.  Or maybe I’m just choosing the wrong men.

I met this guy playing in my hockey tournaments.  We never really formally met (and in all honesty, I didn’t know what his name was until about a year ago), but we always talked and hung out at the rink a lot when we traveled.  It wasn’t until recently when we started sexting texting and spending time together outside of playing hockey.  He’s a great guy with great intentions.  He’s the kind of person who would drive 300 miles at the drop of the hat if you needed something.  He bought me a GPS for my car for my birthday because he knew I really wanted one (although sidenote: I am not impressed with my lady tom-tom yet).  He bought me a pumpkin spice candle from walmart just because he knows I like them. He’s the perfect guy, but there’s one catch.  He lives in D.C. and he’s moving to Flo-rida in February for his job.  Story of my life.  Our text messages sometimes border inappropriate things you wouldn’t want your kids to see flirtatious (mostly on his end), but I am not sure how I feel about him yet.  As a friend, he’s one of the best – probably rises above any other guy in my life.  But I am just not sure about starting up anything romantically, or even attempting to, knowing he’s moving in a few months.

From past experience, I know I need to be more open about the guys I date.  Like every other girl though, I know what I want in a man and a relationship and it’s hard to overlook those things.  But I know I’m not going to get my happily ever after if don’t open myself up to the possibility of something different.  I know he’d never do anything intentionally to hurt me.  I know that he’d take care of me the way I expect a guy to take care of me.  I just don’t know what’s holding me back (aside from the long distance thing).  Is he really worth the risk?  Am I really ready to open myself up to another relationship?

“After a while, you just wanna be with the one who makes you laugh…”