I'm too young for this!

 

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I attended a Boot Camp (read: very small conference) today, sponsored by the I'm Too Young For This! Cancer Foundation, to bring together young adult cancer survivors to increase action to eliminate cancer in young adults. 

When you get diagnosed with cancer, you feel isolated from the rest of the world.  Your family and friends don't understand what kind of emotional and physical pain you're going through because they aren't experiencing it.  So you naturally begin to think that you're the only one going through this pain and suffering.  You convince yourself that no one else out there in the big, big world will ever understand what you're going through.  And then suddenly you find websites like the National Cervical Cancer Coalition and the I2Y Foundation and you begin to realize that you aren't alone.

I don't really talk about my cancer with my non-cancer related friends.  Not because I don't want to, but because I know that they just won't get it.  You can't really understand a person's feelings or emotions unless you've experienced it yourself.  So, I save the cancer talk for my cancer friends.  Because they know and they feel and they understand. 

Today, I met two women who are recent cervical cancer survivors and we all shared our stories.  One young woman asked if we all shared the same physical pains - like bladder issues and constant back pains - as she.  I thought I was the only one, I told her.  We're never alone when it comes to cancer; somewhere, someone is experiencing the same things you are.  When you go through something like radiation and chemotherapy, you don't really understand how bad it is until after you've survived your battle.  Constant back pain.  Feeling like you have to pee every five minutes.  Ringing in your ears.  It sucks, but I hide it well when I'm around others because I don't want their pity (also because I'm addicted to extra strength Tylenol.  What?)

I'm too young for this.  Diagnosed at 23.  Trying to reclaim my life at 27.  Wondering if I'll ever reach that point in my life where I won't constantly think about my cancer.  Waiting to reach my 5-year anniversary so the fear of recurrence disappears.  Cancer changes your life.  Emotionally.  Physically.  Mentally.  Gen-Y'ers have enough to worry about - jobs, finances, friendships, relationships - we shouldn't have to worry about cancer. 

I just hope one day we can find a cure for it.  And I hope one day I can reclaim my life.