{via}
Eventually a broken heart will heal. Like anything, it takes time. Sometimes it means having to hit rock bottom before rising back to the top. But with every big experience in life, there's always a lesson to learn.
A messy, complicated, soul-shattering three-year relationship with a man who couldn't commit was heart-wrenching to get over. Maybe because he was the first man I truly fell in love with, or maybe because I wanted what I couldn't have. Regardless, that relationship broke me down and tore me apart, but it also helped me glue my pieces back together.
It took me nearly three years after our relationship ended until I finally got my closure. Accepting the fact that I wouldn't ever be good enough is enough to shatter any woman's soul. I finally got it. It was always her; I was just the string he wrapped around his finger. Acceptance was the hardest part. Because I wasn't just losing a lover, I was losing a best friend.
Three weeks ago I sent him a final e-mail, forgiving him for our messy, broken past. I forgave him for all of the things he did, the things he didn't do, and the things that shattered my soul. But most importantly, I forgave myself for beating myself up over it, for the heart-wrenching pain I felt those three years post-break up and for allowing myself to believe that I wasn't worthy enough for a man. Sometimes the most painful feelings are the ones we inflict on ourselves.
It's been a long three years, but I know I'm in a much happier place thanks to therapy, self-reflection, and forgiveness. Realizing that I spent two years chasing after a man who couldn't commit. Accepting the fact that maybe we weren't really soul-mates. Forgiving him for breaking my heart. He didn't do it intentionally. Understanding how delicate hearts truly are. Believing that this relationship made me stronger as a woman searching for love. Knowing that sometimes the risk isn't always worth the reward.
I never thought I would get here. To a place where my heart doesn't ache, and my soul is being glued back together. As much as it hurts, I believe that everyone should get their heart broken at least once. It's going to tear you to pieces and leave you lying in a puddle of tears on your bathroom floor for days, but it makes you understand and appreciate what true love is.
Because if you can recover from a broken heart, you can do just about anything.
"So go on, go on and break my heart
I'll be okay, I'm fearless
Better believe I'm fearless"
