{via}
I'm neglecting this blog.
Not intentionally. Okay, maybe intentionally. For one, I'm writing for Stratejoy every week and I'm already having a tough time trying to pump out posts for that. Two, I have so many thoughts running through my brain and I just don't know how to write them down without busting into tears.
I feel like I'm in a glass case of emotions.
Ten points to whoever catches that movie reference.
I'm just... so...
scared. terrified. sad. excited. nervous. anxious. overwhelmed. stressed. upset. depressed.
and...
and...
and...
I'm basically feeling every god damn emotion a human being could possibly feel, all at once. And I don't know how the fuck to deal with it. I spend my nights laying in bed watching netflix instead of packing because I'm just too fucking terrified to embrace the fact that I'm leaving. I spend most of my time with my two best girl friends because I'm so effing upset and sad to leave them and I know I'm going to break down into tears when I say goodbye to them. I've canceled plans with other friends because I just can't fucking see them, knowing it's one more 'goodbye' I have to say. I'm too upset about going home to Pittsburgh to see my brother because I don't know when I'm going to see him again.
Fuck.
Sorry, I had to say it. Because if I could bottle up everything I'm feeling and hand it to someone as a present, I would say, I got you a bottle of 'fuck.'
And then they'd be all, WTF?
And I'd be all, I know. I don't know. Don't ask. I don't know. Fuck.
I swear, I'm not bi-polar.
......yet.
