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It amazes me how much stuff I own. Clothes. Shoes. Papers. Unfinished projects. Books. Movies. I suppose I blame it on acquiring things over the last five years after moving from apartment to apartment. I always felt like I had a use for everything I kept, or that I would be able to use it in the future.
But then I decided to move out of the country and it was finally time to do something about it. I've slowly been cleaning and packing over the last couple months, but today was the first time that I dedicated an entire day to packing. For the last few weeks I've been avoiding everything. Emotions. Packing. Cleaning. Goodbyes. Truth is, I honestly cannot believe I'm doing this.
Today, I cleaned out the clutter. I tossed clothes I haven't worn in six months into white trash bags for donation. I boxed up books, stuffed animals and pictures I won't be taking with me. I let go of shoes I have only worn a few times, sweatshirts that I've had since I was in high school, and ripped jeans that are my absolute favorite, but I know I'll never wear again. By letting go, I moved forward.
Today, I sent out a few long awaited emails that I knew would be emotionally difficult to send, but was something I had to do to get closure on my own terms. I contacted people from my past to acknowledge our differences and mistakes that have been made. By letting go, I moved forward.
Today, I organized my paperwork for Prague, made a check list of things I need to do before I leave, and things I need to do immediately upon landing. I sat with the feeling of being overwhelmed by the process it will take for me to get transported from Prague Airport to my apartment. Emotionally, I moved forward.
Today, I realized that less is more. For the last six years I have been holding onto materialistic items - old clothes, old shoes, old makeup - things I don't need in order to live. I put an old dress I had been holding onto for three years - a dress I had only worn once, but carries a ton of wonderful memories with it. I forced myself to add it into the donation bag. You know you're never going to wear this again, I said to myself. By letting go, I moved forward.
It's funny to think about how much we hold onto - materialistically and emotionally. We hold on because we're afraid to let go; we're afraid to find out who we become once we no longer have those things. But sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is let go.
Today, I moved forward.
