squeeze really hard

Tonight I went out to the bar with absolutely no intentions of getting laid drunk.  Surprised?  Yeah, so am I.  All I wanted was to sit a the bar, enjoy a few drinks and chat with a friend.

What did I get?

A noisy bar surrounded by drunk bitches.  One of whom I nearly punched in the face because her other friend couldn't hold her liquor, stumbled to the bar to put her empty glass down and elbowed me in the side during the process.  So I called her out, shot her one of my infamous dirty looks and she apologized.  Then her friend makes some snide remark, I tell her she needs to stop being a cunt (yes, I said "cunt") and hold her liquor. 

Was that too harsh?

I mean really, is it too much to ask for cunts girls to hold their liquor?  I mean, I'm all about having fun with your friends and pounding a few drunks back, but there's really no need to get trashed and fumble around the bar. 

Well, unless you're this girl.

She likes fumbling around the bar.  She also likes intimate dinner dates, walks on the beach at sunset, heavy petting, holding hands, hugging and paying for dinner.

But she'll have to take you out on a second date before she makes you put out.


And by "put out," I mean ... hug her.


Hugs.  She loves them.  Lots and lots of hugs.  Squeeze really, really hard.


(that's what she said)