on loathing the homeownership process and a dolphin video

Remember when you were a little girl (or boy?  or sexually confused girl or boy?) and you imagined what your life would be like as an adult?  You would tell your friends you would marry Prince Charming and live in this gorgeous house with a white picket fence and sit on the porch swing sipping wine until the sun went down. 

Well, whoever stole my gorgeous 3-bedroom/2-bathroom house with a white picket fence needs to return it. 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen (and anyone in between), I'm crossing #34 off of my bucket list and buying a house.  Or a condo.  Or whatever the hell I can find that won't break my bank and won't involve massive renovations.  Or a big, fat, ugly tree in the back yard that I will constantly worry about when a thunderstorm rolls in.

Whoever said real estate shopping is fun, needs to be shot  slapped.  Sure, it's all fun and games for the first ten minutes, but then after a whole week of looking at listings and hours spent going from house to house (chauffeured by the worst best Greek realtor ever who buys you a $9 lunch at a tiny Vietnamese stand during your very first meeting) I want to gouge my eyes out.

Why is it so damn hard to find a nice house in the city?  Am I too picky?  Do I have that high of standards for my FIRST HOUSE EVER?  Or does Philadelphia real estate just suck major donkey balls?

Do you own or rent your current place?  If you own, how many houses did you look at before you found the one you bought? 

PS: Do you like dolphins?  Then watch this. (WARNING: NSFW)  Even if you don't like dolphins, you should still watch it.  You're welcome in advance.