One thing I’ve learned since my parents passed away is that family is the most important thing in my life. I never really had a good relationship with either of my parents. My dad died when I was 12, so I never really had a father figure during the prime years of my life. My mother passed away when I was 20 and until recently, I blamed myself for her death because we had a huge blowup right before she died and I never got the chance to say “I’m sorry” or “I love you” to her. It was one of the main reasons why I was treated for depression in college.
My brothers and I don’t have the best relationship, but we have managed to build a stronger bond after my mother died. The truth is, they are all I have and I would do anything in this world for them.
I have an Uncle (my dad’s brother) who lives in Georgia. I’m not exactly close with him – he has 3 kids of his own and he’s on the verge of getting a second divorce. When my dad was alive, he was constantly a part of our lives, but now that we’re all grown up things have changed drastically. Last night my Uncle called me. Not to wish me a happy birthday or to talk (because we haven’t talked since LAST OCTOBER when my brother was in the hospital) – he wanted to know if my brother changed his phone number. Typical. He only calls when it’s convenient for him. If there was a “Crappy Uncle of the Year” award, I’d shove it up his ass give it to him in a heartbeat.
When my grandmother (my dad & uncle’s mom) passed away back in the 90’s, my uncle was left as the Executor of her Estate because my father had already passed. My grandmother left all of the [then] 5 grandchildren money for college. $5,000 to be exact. Guess how much of that money my brothers and I saw? None. My uncle took all of it for his own children. And now his oldest daughter is preparing to apply for college and she’ll be using MY $5,000 to support her education. I can’t help but feel angry.
I know my Uncle is family and I should love him no matter what, but he doesn’t have the best track record with me or my brothers. We almost didn’t let him come to our mother’s funeral because the day she died he never called us or anything. But we let him come out for it because he IS family and he’s the closest link my brothers and I have to our parents (my mom was an only child and all four of my grandparents are deceased).
I’m trying to change my ways with him – I want to believe that he does love me but it’s so hard to see that when everything he does is on his terms. God forbid he ever call me on a Tuesday night when he’s at home with his family rather than when he’s enroute to his child’s soccer practice and only calls because he needs something from me. I won’t ever write off my family, but lately he’s been making it so easy for me.
My brothers and I don’t have the best relationship, but we have managed to build a stronger bond after my mother died. The truth is, they are all I have and I would do anything in this world for them.
I have an Uncle (my dad’s brother) who lives in Georgia. I’m not exactly close with him – he has 3 kids of his own and he’s on the verge of getting a second divorce. When my dad was alive, he was constantly a part of our lives, but now that we’re all grown up things have changed drastically. Last night my Uncle called me. Not to wish me a happy birthday or to talk (because we haven’t talked since LAST OCTOBER when my brother was in the hospital) – he wanted to know if my brother changed his phone number. Typical. He only calls when it’s convenient for him. If there was a “Crappy Uncle of the Year” award, I’d shove it up his ass give it to him in a heartbeat.
When my grandmother (my dad & uncle’s mom) passed away back in the 90’s, my uncle was left as the Executor of her Estate because my father had already passed. My grandmother left all of the [then] 5 grandchildren money for college. $5,000 to be exact. Guess how much of that money my brothers and I saw? None. My uncle took all of it for his own children. And now his oldest daughter is preparing to apply for college and she’ll be using MY $5,000 to support her education. I can’t help but feel angry.
I know my Uncle is family and I should love him no matter what, but he doesn’t have the best track record with me or my brothers. We almost didn’t let him come to our mother’s funeral because the day she died he never called us or anything. But we let him come out for it because he IS family and he’s the closest link my brothers and I have to our parents (my mom was an only child and all four of my grandparents are deceased).
I’m trying to change my ways with him – I want to believe that he does love me but it’s so hard to see that when everything he does is on his terms. God forbid he ever call me on a Tuesday night when he’s at home with his family rather than when he’s enroute to his child’s soccer practice and only calls because he needs something from me. I won’t ever write off my family, but lately he’s been making it so easy for me.
“The family you come from isn’t as important as the family you’re going to have.”
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