I found out my friend’s wife recently cheated on him. She claims it wasn’t sex. Really?! You don’t just go over some random dude’s house to make out with him without the intention of getting laid. So I asked him if he trusted her…
***
Me: No, you don’t have to – she cheated on you. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Him: But I love her.
Me: But are you in love with her?
Him: *hesitates* Yes. I think I –
Me: No!
Would you cheat on her if you could?
Him: Well… if the opportunity presented itself, I wouldn’t turn it down.
Me: It’s reasons like that that ruin marriage for the rest of us.
***
I watched as he tried to pick up 2 chicks at the bar that night. He failed miserably. And while it was slightly entertaining, I couldn’t help but wonder why he felt it was okay for him to even try to get revenge on his wife.
I’ll never know why people think it’s OK to cheat.
I dated my first real boyfriend in college. We met through a mutual friend. At first I wasn’t really sure I liked him, but two months later we found ourselves in a relationship. In those two months he managed to cheat on me. Well, I guess I used the word “cheat” loosely, since everyone has their own definition of that word. My definition of cheating involves anything from a kiss to “going all the way.” He cheated on me at a party with some random girl because he was drunk. I let it slide because it was the very beginning of our relationship and because I believed him. Unfortunately, that incident led to my mistrust towards him and questioning his every move. Is he out with his friends hooking up with girls at the club? I was underage for that first year or so we dated, so it made being with him really tough. The second time he cheated on me was with a friend from his hometown that had been trying to hook up with him for a while. Again, he blamed it on alcohol. I blamed it on his penis and not knowing any better. Even though he didn’t have sex with the girl, let’s face it, guys think with their peeps and not their brains. When a girl throws herself at you, a guy isn’t going to say no. Well, unless it’s *Pat. Still, I believe him when he said he wouldn’t cheat on me again. And he didn’t. He stayed faithful to me (or so he admitted) but that relationship didn’t last very long. Our relationship took a downhill spiral during the summer of ‘05 when he physically abused me. that’s when I did what hopefully any girl would/will do in that situation – I left.
From that relationship I learned:
once a cheater, always a cheater and no man ever has the right to hit a woman.
That same summer (about a month and a half after I broke up with my ex), I met a guy at the bar. It was completely random and out of nowhere, but it ended up turning into something. I was the “other woman” in a three year long relationship with a married man. YES, I’m ashamed to admit that. NO, I don’t regret it. Hindsight is 20/20 and only he and I will ever understand that relationship … and why it lasted that long … and why it crashed and burned. I was in the same boat with all of those other women who thought he was going to leave his wife for me. Yes, even after he moved down South for a new job and even after he flew me down to Jacksonville for a weekend last summer. Truth? They never leave. It doesn’t matter how bad the marriage is or how many promises they make you, a man will never leave his wife for you (and a woman will never leave her husband). In my defense? I didn’t know he was married when I met him. He didn’t wear his ring and he wasn’t upfront about his relationship. Of course, I didn’t stop it after he told me … but neither did he. I will admit that was one of my poorer decisions in a relationship, but I did learn a lot about myself and what I want during those three years.
From that relationship I learned:
you’ll always come in second to her and you deserve so much better.
So after having two relationships both crash and burn and watching most of my married friends (guys and gals) cheat on their spouses, it’s safe to say that I’m being cautious with my next relationship. I’m 26 and let’s face it, one night stands are old and busted. I’m not necessarily ready for a full blown relationship, but I don’t want to be spun around on the merry-go-round just once, either.
As for marriage? Well I’m still trying to figure it out. I hate that the divorce rate is close to 50% and rising and I hate that my married friends are unfaithful, but I do wish for a “happily ever after” ending like every other girl and I do know that marriage does work for some couples. I just wish I knew what their secret was.
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