throw the rule book out the window.

"It was love at first sight."

The moment I laid my eyes on him, I fell in love.  It was that deep, passionate, entangling, head-over-heels, warm-fuzzies kind of love.  Stuff that you only see in movies.  Walking down the sidewalk, sitting in cafes, laying on a bench in the sun - it was all euphoric and tranquil.  

Right after college, I had a chance to follow him; a chance to follow my heart, but I chose not to.  It wasn't the right time and I barely had any money saved up.  So I took the safe route, the smart choice and went 300 miles East.  He continued to wait for me, and each time I saw him, I fell in love all over again. 

"He stole my heart and I haven't been the same since."

You always remember your first true love.  You remember every little detail, every blissful moment and every time s/he made you cry.  It's heart wrenching and painful when you think about him (or her), but you realize that time heals all wounds and maybe it's painful for a reason.  Maybe after five years of feeling nothing but pain, you realize it's a sign of true love and everlasting love.  Maybe after trying to compare him to every other one that you see, knowing that those others just don't stack up, it's a sign that your heart was with him all along.  Maybe after five years of separation, you realize that it's time to make a decision - it's time to follow your heart instead of your head.

"You won't leave where you are until you decide where you'd rather be."

For five years I have been fighting this intense love.  Call it denial or indecisiveness, but at some point, you reach a moment when you close your eyes and know what you need to do.  And instead of going against the grain and creating every excuse in the book, you decide that you're going to follow him because that's where your heart is, and you need it back in order to feel whole again.  He's everything you ever wanted and he's ready to give you everything you need.  All you need to do is take a chance.  Stop fighting what you've been longing for your entire life.  Stop convincing yourself that you are better off without him.  Truth is, you haven't been better since the last time you saw him, and you won't feel that sense of euphoria until you see him again.

When I moved to Philadelphia, it was only supposed to be temporary - two years, max - until I could figure out my next move.  But then, like every one else, I started settling into this place and I started creating friendships, networks and relationships.  I started making a name for myself in this big city.  Last month marked my 5-year anniversary of living in Philadelphia.  FIVE YEARS.  Holy hell.  It's been one hell of a ride, but with my lease ending at the end of the summer, I realize that I am ready for a new adventure.  I'm ready for new memories, new thrills, new laughs and a new place to call "home."  For as much traveling as I do, visiting big cities like Chicago, NYC, and Seattle, I realize that while I could quite possibly see myself living in one of those cities short-term, my heart has always been in one place.  He stole my heart from the very first time and I haven't been the same ever since.  

Truth is, I fell in love with Washington, D.C. the very first time I visited and every time I go back, as soon as I step off of that Amtrak train, I feel whole again.  I smile genuinely and intently.  The air smells fresher and the buildings shine brighter.  I gain a feeling of confidence and ownership, like I belong in this city. 

Sometimes in life, you have to throw out the "rule book" and follow your heart. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it's really about overcoming your fears.  Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it." - Scrubs -