"Save your face, you've only got one
Smile like you mean it."
Smile like you mean it."
One of the hardest things [for me] to accept is letting go of a friendship that is sinking/ending/fading. I tend to blame myself when I lose a friend because I feel like I didn't fight hard enough for them.
Three years ago I lost a best friend. OK, so he didn't die on me, but it felt like he did. Granted, we didn't have a perfect relationship, but he really was my best friend. He knew me better than I knew myself. He was everything I wanted and needed in a best friend and it has been very difficult trying to find someone to fill that void. I don't think I'll ever find someone who can make me feel that same way.
This weekend I attempted to learn the true meaning of friendship and figure out which friendships are worth having and which ones I need to let go of.
Friday night I met up with my old roommate to watch some March Madness. We reminisced about the good times we had at our old apartments together. Like how he found a dead mouse under our couch that had been there for four months and stunk up our entire apartment. Or that time that our upstairs neighbors clogged their toilet and we had piss and shit water pouring from our kitchen ceiling (that was the straw that broke the camels back and made my roommate buy a condo for us). Or that time he bought a fig tree and it died three days later because neither one of us watered it, yet we kept it and turned it into our Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Those were the days, I thought to myself. That was the first time, in a long time, I laughed and smiled like I meant it.
I spent Saturday with my two favorite girls. The day was absolutely perfect - sitting outside of Starbucks, drinking coffee and talking about friends, relationships, boys, girls, social media, jobs, careers, books and traveling, and then getting manicures and pedicures together. It was the first time in a long time where I felt completely happy. I haven't felt like that in three years.
Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
Jim Elliot said:
Wherever you are, be all there.
This weekend I learned that I need to invest more into the friendships that really matter to me and make me completely happy and let go of those friendships that are sinking/failing/ending. I need to accept the fact that I can't hold onto every friendship I make; sometimes you just have to let people go and hope they find what they are looking for. I need to continue following my heart and being all there with those friends who matter most.
"After a while, you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh."
Mr. Big, Sex and the City
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