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Zsa zsa zsu. The unforgettable feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you meet someone you're attracted to. It's the fireworks, the sparks, and the tingling in your toes. It marks our friendships from our romances and our mild flirtations from our flings.
We've all experienced the zsa zsa zsu with someone at some point in our lives. On a first date over stimulating conversation and a really good bottle of wine, or over cold beers watching a football game. It's what makes us go back for more conversation, for more beers and for more attention. To find out how strong those fireworks really are and if that person is worth pursuing long term. Because we don't feel the zsa zsa zsu with just anyone.
It's been a while since I've felt that zsa zsa zsu with a boy. Someone who can satisfy my intellectual cravings and physical attraction. I forgot what it feels to be completely comfortable around someone. To laugh from your soul. To smile like you mean it. To have your world stop - for a split second - because that person got you during the conversation you just had.
When I made the decision to get back in the game, I knew I had to give it everything I had. I owed it to myself and the other person. I had to start tearing down the wall, revealing certain parts of my intimate life, and just hope that he wouldn't run away. Being vulnerable is tough. It makes me feel weak and exposed, and not in the good way. The problem with dating is that it's [usually] all a game. Play hard to get. Don't make the first move. Wait until he gives you a sign. We play off of the other person's reactions, words, feelings, and emotions to decide what to say, do, and feel. Women typically wait to say "I love you" until the man says it first. We wait for a man to ask us out on a first date. Or to lean in for that first kiss. Or to invite us out to meet his close friends. We wait so long for people to tell us what to do, say, or feel instead of doing it, saying it or feeling it on our own terms.
It's a double-edged sword. We need to feel something in order to believe it's real, but we don't want to feel too much, too soon. We force ourselves to feel something that's not there, and to force ourselves not to feel something that is there.
I'm keeping an open mind and an open heart. Whether this turns into a real relationship or just a close friendship, I'm ready. No expectations, no definitions. Just present moment, laughing from the soul and satisfying my cravings.
It's been a while since I've felt that zsa zsa zsu with a boy. Someone who can satisfy my intellectual cravings and physical attraction. I forgot what it feels to be completely comfortable around someone. To laugh from your soul. To smile like you mean it. To have your world stop - for a split second - because that person got you during the conversation you just had.
When I made the decision to get back in the game, I knew I had to give it everything I had. I owed it to myself and the other person. I had to start tearing down the wall, revealing certain parts of my intimate life, and just hope that he wouldn't run away. Being vulnerable is tough. It makes me feel weak and exposed, and not in the good way. The problem with dating is that it's [usually] all a game. Play hard to get. Don't make the first move. Wait until he gives you a sign. We play off of the other person's reactions, words, feelings, and emotions to decide what to say, do, and feel. Women typically wait to say "I love you" until the man says it first. We wait for a man to ask us out on a first date. Or to lean in for that first kiss. Or to invite us out to meet his close friends. We wait so long for people to tell us what to do, say, or feel instead of doing it, saying it or feeling it on our own terms.
"Is a relationship a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu?"
It's a double-edged sword. We need to feel something in order to believe it's real, but we don't want to feel too much, too soon. We force ourselves to feel something that's not there, and to force ourselves not to feel something that is there.
I'm keeping an open mind and an open heart. Whether this turns into a real relationship or just a close friendship, I'm ready. No expectations, no definitions. Just present moment, laughing from the soul and satisfying my cravings.
