on happiness

(via)

Positively Present is one of my favorite blogs to read.  It gives advice on how to be more positive and happy in our lives.  And really, who doesn't need that?

I saw the picture above on today's post.  It really struck a chord in me.  And I started thinking, how happy am I really?

Six years ago I was living in Pittsburgh, finishing school and getting ready to embark on another chapter.  Six years ago I wasn't happy.  I had just ended a bad relationship and all I wanted to do was finish school and leave the city.  Pittsburgh is a small town.  It's a college town and most people who grow up in Pittsburgh, don't leave.  I knew that I didn't want to be one of those people.  All of my friends from high school went to Penn State and found their way back to Pittsburgh.  I didn't want to be like them, either.

When I applied for jobs, I landed two: one with the District Attorney's office in Philadelphia and the other with the Attorney General's office in Washington, D.C.  My dream was to live in D.C.  But at the time, I knew I couldn't afford it.  So I declined the job offer and took the one in Philadelphia.  My first year in Philly was tough.  The only person I knew in this city was my ex and I had no intentions of spending any time with him.  It took me a while before I branched out of my comfort zone, but I found a few sports leagues to join and I attended some networking events with co-workers.  By the end of that first year, I had built myself a nice social network.

It's been five years now and that original social network no longer exists, but I believe that I've made myself a better social network.  I believe that those friends I met during that first year here weren't really "friends."  Maybe they were temporary friends; maybe I was just holding out until a better friend came along.

Twenty-five years of living has taught me to dispose of all the crappy friends in my life.  I learned that second chances don't come often - and if I give you a second chance, well, you better make the most of it.  I learned that certain people will always let you down and sometimes it's those friends who you never thought could, end up exceeding your expectations. You're going to have crappy friends and those friends who will do anything for you - but it's up to you to realize what they are worth to you.  Sometimes we forget that; we forget how worthy a friend really is to us.  We focus too much on those moments they let us down and forget about those moments they stood beside us when we really needed them. 

The friends I've made over the last five years are worth more than the weight of gold.  The memories I've created in this city are unforgettable.

Am I happy?

Yes.  Absolutely.  I may not be happy every second of every day, but I'm happy with the life I've created for myself in this city.  I'm happy lucky to have the friends I do and the memories I'll never forget .  I didn't think I would ever be able to say that about living in Philadelphia; certain memories I have of this city sting every part of my body, but I'm working on letting go of that painful past and creating a unforgettable, happy future for myself.  I still have a lot of work to do, but so far, I think I've done pretty well.

"We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but for the first time let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are and that will be better."

- Garden State -